Dancing to a Different Drummer

Lili has finished her 3rd ballet class now. She goes back and forth between being excited and refusing to go- which makes things interesting about an hour before class. She reads her ballet book, loves her shoes and leotard, and remembers most of the basic positions- she even asks me why they haven't been taught certain steps yet. Initially she asked me to dance with her, outside of the group. She absolutely did not want to be part of the circle but she wanted to do the steps. So, we stood in the back doing everything together. Anytime someone looked at her (myself included) she grinned then immediately acted shy, screaming, "No! Don't look at me!" So at the second class I tried to step back a bit, but she would either scoot back with me, or run across the room to be where I was standing. (And god forbid I actually sit down with the other parents...) She would do the trampoline and balance beam only if Scott held her hand AND we asked the teacher not to look at her. Uh huh. That's always a tricky one. We asked but of course, when she was close to the end of the balance beam the teacher looked at her to make sure that she didn't fall off which led to massive tears and running to mama. Oh dear. So last night I decided I wouldn't do it with her anymore- that she could make the choice to participate with the group, sit with me on the chair or do the steps in the back by my chair. It was really interesting just watching instead of coaxing and acting like a cheerleader- she much preferred acting like a race car or grasshoper rather than a ballerina for one. She also liked to do exactly what the teacher asked them NOT to do. It's her own little experiment, really. The teacher asked them to stay on the mat when they finished their turn, so she acted like a racecar and zoomed off the mat. (She had been sitting quietly on the mat until that point.) When they were asked to sit down, she immediately stood up, or if they are asked to stand up and walk to a circle, she immediately sat down. (Again, she was already sitting quietly when they were asked to sit down, and already standing up in the correct spot when they were asked to stand up.) All of the children were asked to be quiet because a few of the girls were running and yelling, and my daughter- who up until this point had been sitting quietly on the mat, proceeded to stand up and scream, "Mama!" then start laughing. Then she ran over to me and asked if she was not being quiet. Finally the teacher told the kids that whoever wasn't walking over to the group would not get a sticker at the end of class, and of course Lili sat down. I know that she is pushing boundaries and learning consequences, but it was very interesting to watch her little brain work it out and REFUSE to either be part of the group or follow the rest of the girls just because the teacher said so- instead of being on the RECEIVING end of a defiant 3 year old. :)